Hello everyone, I am back once again and it sure has been a while, so I’m sorry for that, life has been hectic….but I do have some news…I am 24 weeks pregnant. The idea of this title of course came from being pregnant.
Let me just start by saying that I am completely and utterly in love with this amazing human being growing inside of me, but although I have had no sickness, what has been the hardest is how I have felt on the inside and this is something that just cant be seen.
In the first few months of my pregnancy, I simply couldn’t stop crying, I would sometimes sit on the floor and cry with tiredness, and yes that sounds completely insane but it’s not and it happens to the best of us, but what was the worst was the effect this had on my other half….we would argue like crazy over the smallest of things because I have this habit of making everything into a massive drama, and then afterwards I would feel an overwhelming guilt because I would wonder if all the crying and stress would be having a negative affect on our baby.
I felt so depressed some days that I wouldn’t even want to get out of bed, I wanted to sleep for hours and sometimes it felt like everything was too much, and I constantly felt that I was a terrible person, and then suddenly it has got better, as you pass the first 3 months, it does get better, but I wanted to write this short piece because I want all expectant mothers out there to not feel alone, you are not alone, there are others out there feeling exactly the same and know what you are going through. Everyone talks about the amazing process of being pregnant and actually not a lot of people are honest about how hard pregnancy can be and how depressed some people can feel, because you get a feeling of so many different emotions all at once, and those feelings are so hard to express or understand, and it becomes especially hard for your partner to experience.
I learnt that what helped me was actually putting on calm music or taking time out, watching something that makes me happy, or actually resting!….you have to allow your body time to rest,and actually time to adjust to carrying this human being…its a big job and dont underestimate how tiring it can be….so my advice take care if yourself first so that you can have the best pregnancy, eat good good, sleep well, and talk, talk about how you feel whether that’s with your partner, your family or your midwife, do not be alone.
Diary of My bean 
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